A void

I have a pretty good life. I am a 15year old girl. I am top of my class. I have a number of friends and I attend a private school. My parents make a decent living and I have all i need. I could say i am blessed. But lately I have been feeling this void, this insecurity. Sometimes I think I'm ugly even though I'm not. I am always changing my facebook picture because every single one I find a fault in it. There was a point where I hated my friend cuz she was more popular than me. I went through a stage where i tried to eat to fill the void, i tried dressing up in fancy clothes get the best gadgets but nothing works. I even tried to change my personality. And lately I'm very talkative, just to try to not think about the emptiness. What hurts the most is that i have no one to talk to. The thing is the church my parents go to i really dont like it because they have a bunch of unreasonable rules like you are not allowed to dance or grow your hair or wear trousers and stuff like that. In my family we are the type who do not show emotion. You sort your problems out. Dont get me wrong, my parents love me but we just dont talk about some issues. I am trying a discipleship course through a book but there is no one to guide me and i am worried that at the end i may not be saved or born again. I am good person, disciplined and well behaved, but this void is eating me.

Comments for A void

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advice..
by: cassandra

if you have a void, then God is trying to tell you that you need Him. He's the ONLY ONE who can fill that void inside of you. would there be any way you could attend a different church. even if you don't have a way there, i know that many churches now have busses where they pick up and drop off people who don't have any other way to get to that church, and if that wouldn't be possible, what about calling the church and seeing if the pastor or youth pastor or someone else could pick you up?
try to be open with your parents..thats how my family is--we don't show emotions here, well negative ones anyway, and thats gotten me into some serious trouble..just try to be as open as possible with them
Your void is where God will live if you invite Him there
by: Anonymous

Ask Jesus to come into your heart, and there He will be. Ask him to reveal himself to you and He will. The path of a Christian is not an easy one if you are not following it with God's love alive in your heart. The path of a Christian, even to martyrdom becomes a much easier path once the love of God is inflamed in your heart.
About obedience with rules in any church, from the Bible, or from your parents... obedience does not always make sense and it isn't always fun. But...it is what Jesus did to save us... "He was obedient to death, death on the cross..." When I am obedient to a rule in the church, it is my way of smiling at Jesus for His obedience to the death that opened up the gates of heaven for us. So, for example, to wear a skirt instead of pants...is for me, an expression of modesty, yes, but also a suffering (because it is not always easy to do this)...a suffering that reminds me of how far another went to suffer for me, because He loves me...it is a smile from me to Jesus. It is a small way to start to experience what it is to suffer for another. The same for other obediences, like changing the diaper of a crying baby, waking up in the middle of the night with a sick child, making a favorite dinner for my husband...these are all small sufferings but ways in which to learn more about Jesus' suffering for us...same with workouts and practice for an instrument or sport...my efforts to study for a class...all can become ways to smile at Jesus.
Don't forget to smile at the world while you are at it...that is Jesus in you, smiling out at others!! These are all a practice in being one with Jesus...sometimes, He lets us feel the weight of the cross (through all of our suffering) - and it hurts...but He is always there with you...helping you to hold that cross, and all the while, you are being strengthened... becoming a more loving person through your trials...a person whose life will be lived with peaks and valleys...the peaks a celebration and the valleys a suffering...both can be offered to Jesus as a prayer to save the souls of your friends.
My favorite line is this... We don't try to live the perfect life, we try to live the life we've been given perfectly.
God knows your struggles. He knows your effort to find Him. No one person, not your boyfriend, best friend, sibling, or parents can fill you with the love of Jesus. No one can be everything to you - only God can. If you put Him first, things will become easier. Paths will open up for you.
Talk to Him the way you cannot talk to others, and then listen...and wait patiently. He will always answer your prayers...not always with a yes, but you will get an answer...He won't answer always that instant but in the coming days, you begin to get a sense.
God Bless,

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