Going through a lot of hurt... :(

by Kristin
(Texas)

Hi,My name is Kristin and I reallyyyy need some advice! I dated a wonderful guy for a year and a half named Ethan. In the beginning it was great we were both so happy and we both had the same ideas about purity and waiting till we were married for sex. We both went to church and had a lot in common!The only difference was I go to a privet christian school and he goes to a public school. At my school, everything we do is based off of the bible and we have purity classes. Were he goes it is a battle because there's so many non believers. He was constantly being torn down because of his purity. Like guys would tell him "Oh your just not man enough" Or make put down comments like that. He has such a great heart. and that's why we dated for so long. I'm sixteen and I know people say oh you cant be in love your only a teenager. I believe though that I loved him to the amount I could at my age. We both cared and still care so much about each other.

Now that you know some history let me share the real trouble i'm going through now. In our relationship I loved him. On the other hand his family (more like mother) I could not stand. She was very jealous acting (I guess i could say) about Ethan and I. She is almost like a girls mom, like how their supposed to act Protective and always in their business. It was very hard dealing with that but my love for Ethan made me stay. Well like I said we dated a very long time. We got very used to each other and close. It started to go down the wrong road... We did a lot of sexual things. At the time I didn't think about how much pain it would cause later on. We started doing things 9 months after dating, until we broke up. He gave me a promise ring and said that he loved me for me and at any point I wanted to stop that stuff he would stop because he loved me for me not that. He was so sweet. Everything was going perfect when one day it just came to me we needed to take a break. So we did. It was very hard on him and he was very hurt. I thought we would be fine and get over it and it would work again later on. His mom saw how hurt he was so she banned him from talking to me. so we didn't talk for about a month. Then we started texting just as friends. Then we started talking about our relationship. We started texting and saying how much we cared about each other again and it turned sexual over texting. We talked about what we did before or if we got the chance what we would do. I don't know why we became so stupid again. Well to keep this short, my mom saw the messages and she told his parents and now we are not aloud to see, speak, or have any communication. Well, two days after all this happened my school had a track meet at his school and I saw him and my heart sunk. I felt horrible i wanted to cry. It made me want to be with him so bad. I know what we did was wrong and if i could take it back i would! When we saw each other he was really upset that we couldn't really talk or sit by each other. I hadn't seen him in 6 months and I couldn't even have a decent conversation. I'm sending this message to you the day after I saw him and i'm so confused! I'm just so unhappy. All I want is to go back to him and be happy and forget all this. But i can't his mom wouldn't even look at me. his family probably hates me. I know i need to move on but i cant! He told me he will wait for me and I know he will! I just am hurting so bad because we cant even talk or see each other. We have such a connection, hes not like other guys that does that with a girl and then moves on. He told me we have a special connection and that he still loves me and feels connected to me. But we cant even talk and it hurts so bad. It's going to be two years till we could even have a chance again. (Will be graduating then) But my mom has no trust in me. She thinks she has to watch me because i'll go do that with any guy I get a chance with. But that's not true! I'm never doing anything like that again because of all the hurt and pain its brought.
I'm sorry this was so long but I just really need some help with this because I don't know what to do. I'm so unhappy every since i saw him. We could quit staring at each other. We have something so special and I don't want it forced away.
Please tell me what you think.
Thank you so much for reading!
-Kristin ps. The picture i sent is us last year at prom!