I didn't know how bad I had messed up.

I have been a christian all my life and have been a firm believer in waiting till marriage to have sex. But a couple of years ago I started doing some form of masturbation and at the time I did not realize it. It felt good so I would do it almost everytime I got into the shower. And overtime I started feeling bad about doing it. God spoke to me with this feeling and told me it was wrong but I can't seem to stop. I have went almost 12 years with out a boyfriend because I didn't want to put myself in a predicament where I could lose my virginity. But I've went and have had guys try and be with me and I would give them a chance but the second they started pressuring sex into our "relationship" I would get rid of them. But about 5 months ago me and my boyfriend started dating and he knew from the begginning how I felt about having sex and has not pressured me to do anything, yet. But what I am trying to get at is that he went down on me when I last seen him (we have a long distance relationship), and I just feel awful after reading that article that after all these years of really thinking that I was a virgin that in God's eyes I'm not. I've asked for forgiveness countless times and I just don't know what to do....