I do not have to be perfect

by Jess
(london)

I like to change my perspective on how I see the world and than myself.

For my physical beauty I would like bigger breasts. I am naturally thin girl (and I am not a black girl) but I have put some weight on and I am at my ideal weight for my height. Recently I cut my hair (well I let my cousin cut my hair) and I am not too happy about the way it looks now so I trying to grow it out. I feel that longer hair will make me happier (I did have long hair before and I also associated that with being pretty).

Although I feel my face looks weird I have been commented on that it is a very pretty face. But most people think hair is the beauty indicator so I would love to have long and thick hair and bigger boobs.

I sometimes let my appearance affect me greatly. I have spent most of my time finding ways to improve my looks. I believe in natural physical beauty (and not so much as applying makeup) and I only realized that I do not show much inner beauty.

I want to be seen as very pretty and attractive person to others that I need to be perfect or else I am not good enough and that bothers me alot. And I do lose sleep over it, worrying that I am not pretty enough or wondering why I do not get compliments often. mind you, when I do get compliments I pretend it was not a big thing.

I do not think people like me much when I am too self involved, it's hard for them to understand. But when I take time to have fun, listen and entertain or tease I notice that people esp boys are happy in my company.