i never considered myself a fat person or skinny person. i'm a very normal weight at my height but guys dated. i asked them what type of girls do you like? skinny or fat? some would said. i like skinny girl and some said curvy...so finally the guy that i actually go out with. he dump me because i'm too heavy. when he lift me up , he can only walked 4 steps. after he dump me...i starve myself for a week and i lose a few lbs and mom start to notice and she said i become skinnier these days. i just said. i been working out more. now i feel like i won't be happy until i reach 100lbs. i don't smile anymore. i don't talk to any of my friends anymore. i ignore everyone and every day i seek god for help but it seem like he is not listening to my prayers. Im so hurts more than you can imagine. sometime i have such a negative thoughts like dying. i don't want to live anymore.
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