If i could change anything about me, Is how i see myself.

by Katie
(Tucson AZ US)

I Hate how i look at my self in the mirror everyday and always find my flaws.

I mean i got a hair cut about 5 months ago and it was bad and my self esteem went way down and since i went into high school some people liked it others make rude remarks about it or just look at me funny.
I hate it. Its like i have to have long hair for people to accept me. Everyday i regret getting a hair cut because i feel as if i would look beautiful with long hair. I also have curly hair so it didn't help much. So i had to straiten it often just for it to look longer.
Now my hair has grown a bit after 5 months, but i still want it longer. I just hate feeling self conscious. Its like everyone is looking at me and judging me and it drives me crazy, but in the outside i act normal.

I had problems with acne but now they are getting better.
But all my self esteem issues had cause me to start an eating disorder. I used to make my self vomit. My dad told me to stop.
I then became anorexic for 4 or 5 months and i lost alot of weight.
I weighed 130 and i was 5'3 and i was an 8th grader.
After i starved my self and worked out excessively i was down to 99 pounds at one point. I hadn't had a period for like 5 months and i had problems using the bath room.
Now i went to the doctors and i got help and now i weight around the average weight for me is 108-110, So im healthy again.
I promised my parents i wouldn't hurt myself again.