I'm not you- You're not me.

by GiGi
(California)

My mom was a nutritionist- always fit, always thin, and I.... Well, the thinnest I've ever been was when I was five years old. I hated myself. I would starve myself and then eventually give up after about a day and a half later, gourging out on food, and then feeling bad that I ate two pieces of cake and cookies.

My Mom never knew about any of this- I would just take a bite or two at dinner and secretly chop up my food so it looked like I ate some. I always thought girls who starved themselves were stupid, and I didn't really count myself as a starver, I would just not eat a lot (possibly like a cheese stick for lunch and half a piece of chicken for dinner), so I would get thinner. This method never worked. I hated going to school and hearing kids say, "When you hit the ground, the earth shakes" I hated girls for whispering to their friends barely loud enough to say, "When she sneezes, she gets a double chin." I tried diets of all kind, I tried going on no-carbs for two weeks, and nothing worked. I heard about lipo-suction and when I asked my Mom one day how old you had to be and that I wanted it, she laughed and goes, "Hey, just eat right and stay away from sweets!" Well, when you're a chocoholic like me, it was hard to "just stay away from sweets."

After the bullying got worse and worse at school, I transferred schools, because I couldn't take their non-stop harrassment, and things started to change for me. I became addicted to working out and even though I still liked sweets, I managed to eat them in moderation. I became fit and healthy, and even though my main goal in life was to become "skinny" (and some days when I'm feeling sad I still feel that way), I decided to make up a better goal: To become fit.

My advice to girls is: Stop dieting, and DON'T worry about counting pounds! I always had the attitude of, "by next week, I want to have dropped three pounds," but nothing ever worked. After a vigorous low-carb diet, I gained about five pounds back, so dieting didn't work out with me. I just decided one day to hop on a treadmill and start running. Next thing I know, I look down and see that I've already ran a mile. It was thrilling and it got me excited to keep working out.

I know I had an eating-disorder at one point on my life, because I felt like food was the ultimate enemy that just made people fat, but I overcame it and I believe so can you.