Life is Beautiful....

by Kaylee
(Keatchie, LA, USA )

Hey yall! My name is Kaylee, and I just signed up to be able to talk to you guys about the serious issues you're facing. God was calling me to do something with teenage girls... so I began searching for volunteer opportunities online. Then I found you guys! I'm going to tell you my story, and although it may seem a little sad...I want you to know that I'm in better hands now...and I'm perfectly healthy! I can not wait to get to know yall!

My life, although tragic at times, is a beautiful story of redemption. God has used my struggles to shape me into something beautiful, and I hope his beauty shines through me, in to you. So, the only place I know where to start is the, well, start. So, here I go.. My parent's were never married. I'm the result of a one night stand. Until I was in the third grade I lived with my mom. We moved constantly (later I found out that we were running from the cops) and I basically raised my little brother. When I was 5 years old my mother accidently overdosed me on tylenol p.m. She had been giving me these on a regular basis so she could leave late at night without me knowing. One night, she gave me 6. I started having a siezure. When she finally came home, she rushed me to the hospital. My body twisted into vile contortions for almost 3 hours. This is because the hospital staff was pumping more medication into my body, not realizing the cause of the siezure was overdose. Out of fear, my mother did not tell. Luckily, God had plans for my life, and I was not called to be with Him that horrible night. I recovered and life went on...badly. Eventually, when I was in the 3rd grade, the cops caught up with mom. She spent 8 months in county jail. I moved in with my dad, and my brother with his (he is my half brother). With the Lord's strength behind me, I adapted to life with my dad quickly. I never knew him until I moved in with him, so things were awkward at first. But he was/is an amazing man, and got me lots of professional help. I went to school, and made many friends. Even after my mom got out, I continued to live with my dad (and still do). Life was wonderful and peaceful for many years. Then, I met Michael. He was my best friend Tyler's older brother. I went to Michael's 15 birthday party with Tyler (we were 13 at the time). I instantly "clicked" with Michael. He was just so funny and cute. Not to mention, he was amazing on the dance floor. After the party we talked on the phone for weeks... and then on June 8, 2006, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted. The first 6 months of our relationship were amazing. I couldnt have asked for a better boyfriend. but slowly, almost unoticably, things started to change. He mentioned he didn't like the fact that I had so many friends that were guys... and that I spent way too much time with my family and friends that were girls. It just hurt his feelings that I gave up precious time with someone who loved me as much he did, he told me. So, I gave up spending so much time with my friends and family...and as a result, we slowly drifted apart. After Michael isolated me from the people that cared about me, the true abuse started. I couldnt wear certain things without being called a "whore" or "slut". I flirted with guys constantly and because I caused Michael so much pain, I deserved to be hit or called names. I know this sounds horrifying, but I was so isolated and completely dependent upon him, that I honestly believed I deserved it. Then, the sexual pressures came. I had always promised myself that I would save sex until marriage, but because Michael had "always been there for me," I slowly began to give in..a little touching here...a little make-out session here. Michael was a virgin, and once he got a taste of sexual pleasure, he only wanted more. Then, in the midst of everything, my mom got sentenced to 2 years in prison. Michael jumped on this opportunity. "Baby, let me take all that hurt away...I mean, I love you and you love me... we are gonna get married anyway...why dont we just start now? It wont hurt anything...I just wanna show you how much I love you", he whispered in my ear. I couldnt fight it anymore...I gave in. I cried later that night...I felt I didnt deserve God's love. So now... all I had was Michael. I clung to the abusive relationship for three years. One day, cleaning my room, I accidently turned it on the christian music channel instead of the rap one I intended to listen to. A premiere of Natalie Grant's' "better hands" was on. I listened...and then...I broke down. I wanted to be in better hands...but I couldnt leave michael after all this time. So I hit my knees and said "God, forgive me of all my sins against you. I want to come home, but I know I cant do that with Michael in my life. I cant break up with him...If you dont want us to be together, your going to have to take care of it for me." I cried those tears thinking I would be with Michael for the rest of my life. Then I went on a family vacation to Hot Springs, Arkansas. It was the first time I had been truly happy in a long time. After a week of being gone,the first thing I did when I got back home was call Michael. I knew something was wrong as soon as he said "hello". He told me that he couldn't be with me anymore...that I just didnt treat him right. It obviously broke my heart, and as I cried I told Michael I loved him one last time. I cried those tears knowing that Michael was not who God made for me, and that this was what he wanted for my life. I have been recovering from the abuse for 1 year and four months now. God showed me that I was worth waiting on, and loving. He showed me my true inner beauty, and he showed me that he could be my Prince. I want to show you girls that too. Rely on His strength for every moment of your life. May God guide you and bless you in all of your endeavors. I love you all...
<3 Kaylee