by Taylor
(United states)
i was happy. i had a wonderfull life. school was going great, i had a boyfriend and lots of friends. i was never really that confident in myself. when i was in second grade a girl used to tell me that i was stupid, and fat. i was only 8 years old and i already hated my body. and i haven't stopped. all my friends they are so thin. i wanted to be like them so bad. so it started in june. i created a journal notebook where i took pictures of myself and i wrote down everything i ate. i live on a farm so i had chores morning and night, i walked the animals, i cleaned and so forth for hours a day. plus i was running and doing other various exercises. it was summer and i wanted to change into the beautiful girl i wasnt before. i wanted to be thin, no skinny. so in june i started. i was consuming an average of about 600 to 500 calories a day. an active 14 year old. i was 108. by school time i was 94. by december i had gotten to my lowest weight, which is 79 lbs. i am 5 foot and 1 inch tall. i was super depressed and felt horrible about myself. i thought that i wasnt perfect when i was fat and im not perfect now because im to skinny. so i told myself i would never be the perfect size and that i would have to live with hating myself. thats still how it is today.
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