My story

by melany
(usa)

well, first off I think it's important to say that I don't think I have an e.d.

I started getting bullied in 9th grade. I was about 14 years old when it all started. Kids would tell me that I was fat and that I ate a lot! A friend of my moms would always, always be like "wow, you eat sooo much. My kids don't eat half as much as you eat in one day!" I never thought that I was fat or ugly, but after being told how fat I was and how I ate a lot I started looking at myself in the mirror more closely. I started getting really self conscious and started to believe what everyone was saying about me. In ninth grade I started starving myself, but when I still was getting made fun of I decided that starving myself wasn't enough. I started exercising like crazy!!! I even tried to make myself throw up a couple of times, but it didn't work. I'm such a baby! Anyway, I'm 17 now and struggle very much with it. I try to eat and not think about it, but I feel like no matter what I eat, I'm gaining TONS of weight! Sometimes I'll eat for a couple days, and then I'll feel EXTREMELY guilty about it(not to mention fat!) I hate eating in front of people. I get really nervous and feel really uncomfortable whenever I do. I used to count calories, but I'm not really paranoid with it. I feel sooo fat though!!!!!!!!!! I feel extremely uncomfortable in just about everything except for sweatpants and sweatshirts. Anyway, this was my story. Thanks for taking the time to read it. I feel bad like I'm waisting your time by posting this. . . so if I am, I'm sorry. :(