My Story

by Emily
(Canada)

Hey Everyone, Here's my story.

I'm now 20, but throughout all of my teenage years, I struggled mentally. I battled anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. I'm still working through these things.

At the age of 17, my self-esteem was so low. I was about to graduate high school and I had never felt so ugly, worthless, and stupid. I had no idea what to do with my life. My mom finally convinced me to see a counselor who I'm still working with.

Shortly after I graduated I felt that my life was a mess. I started to crave attention from guys. It didn't matter who they were, I just wanted their attention. They made me feel beautiful and needed.

At 17 I fell for a much older man. Like much much older. This is my biggest regret. He made me feel safe, he was essentially a father figure to me. He was always there for me through everything. I felt that I had to give him something in return. Things went way too far. I made so many mistakes and that ate me up.

Here I am at 20 and I still hurt from this daily. I started dating my current boyfriend shortly after and I figured it didn't matter anymore. I had made so many mistakes sexually, and it didn't matter if I continued to have sex with my boyfriend. Eventually, we both came to the realization that it was wrong and now are waiting until marriage. The guilt is still there though.

I've struggled with self-harm and suicidal thoughts. To this day I still struggle but I know that throughout all of it God is beside me helping me through every step of the way.