not eating is eating me alive

by Anonymous
(VA)

my heart hurts. i am tired of feeling fat, unworthy, inadequate, like a failure, not good enough, like i should be someone else, etc. i can't look in the mirror without hating myself that much more. i have tried to get help, and the one person who i trust enough to talk about this with doesn't have time to talk. at least anymore. i feel fat. i still want to lose weight. and i am tempted everyday to not eat- throw it away, say i am not hungry or don't feel well. but i can't. nor can i keep this up.

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God love you:)
by: Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
God loves you just the way you are. He doesn't want you to hurt yourself. He wants you to be healthy, though. Please don't feel that you are inadequate...In the past, I had a lot of problems with my own image. I became extremely depressed and felt like I had to become so small... that I had to look a certain way in order to be accepted by others. I thought this was the only way that I would be able to find friends. I did lose weight, but I was harming my body in the process by pushing it to its limits. I severely limited what I ate, and had become too thin for awhile. Since then, I have grown to realize that I shouldn't worry about how the world judges me because the world's message is wrong. Society pushes so many of us to be at an unhealthy weight. It says that we should look a certain way, be a certain way,etc. Nobody has the right to cause us harm. I encourage you to read Romans 14:13-15.
Unlike the world's message, God's message is truth. He wants us to care for our bodies. He is also always with us, even when we may feel alone. John 14:18-21 talks about God always watching over us and about his great love for us. Please know that God watches out for you!
I encourage you to take small steps towards your recovery. Try getting some support from others...try to gradually eat a little more... write some Bible verses and keep them where they can be seen... make small goals. When a negative thought comes across your mind, try imagining a stop sign and replacing it with something positive. You could say, " I am a wonderful person and nobody has the right to hurt me." Try becoming involved in something you are passionate about. Helping and loving others can help with recovery, but please realize that healing comes from realizing you are a good person. God Loves You!!! (I also encourage you to watch the music video "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz):)
Praying for you
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain. I was once in your shoes when I was a young teen and I had no one to talk to because I felt like everyone would judge me. I hated myself and I wanted to die almost everyday for about a year or 2. I've gotten alot better because I've realized god loves me the way I am and I started praying and talking to god to easy the pain. But everyday is different for me. Just remember god loves u and he doesn't want you to feel this way. If you pray about it and let him help you, you will feel so much better. I'll be praying for you.

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