self esteem prob

by Emilia
(CA)

okay so, ive been very worried about my looks lately. i think im going fat! and i cant take it any more. ive been trying to avoid meals every once in a while and to work out as much as possible.


and the only thing my friends say is, "you look great! stop saying you are horrible." but what if i actually am horrible? cause, i own a mirror. and i know im not thaat pretty.

i just wish i could be pretty for once, you know? and my sister says i have a self esteem prob. and i actually might have one. so i know i need help before this gets kinda worse.

should i keep on working out like crazy? should i stop eating everything that seems to make me go fat?

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You are beautiful!
by: Julie

Emilia,

It may be hard to imagine, but so many times our view of ourselves is distorted based on what others have told us about ourselves, the unrealistic ideals we see in magazines and on t.v. of ultra-skinny girls, and in our own hearts, because we have years of telling ourselves we aren't good enough and we need to be more. Those thoughts or words in our hearts are not what we were made to believe about ourselves from God. I don't know where you are on a walk with Christ, but we are told again and again in Scripture that the way He made us was no mistake. Our exact shape and general body size are something we have for a reason. Sure, that doesn't mean we ought not eat healthy and exercise because that is also good for the body and spirit..it's important to treat our bodies well but not go overboard. Only you know if you are going overboard- this can mean different things for different people, but skipping meals and overexerting yourself are likely signs.

Please know that in the long-run, your perception of yourself when you look in the mirror or in pictures will change...part of that must come with a better outlook on who you are and appreciating yourself, "flaws" as people call them, and all. I will never have a small nose, for instance. I know this sounds silly, but I have focused on that feature for years. I wanted it to change. I wanted to see a lot of different things besides a changed nose in the mirror from time to time, too. It's always something. I have struggled with body weight and having a better perspective on myself for years, too..and I can tell you, now that I look back at pictures that I used to think were disgusting, I realize, that it was me looking just fine, growing into who I would become today. Through ups and downs with weight that I'm bound to have as I get older still, I know some features may seem less attractive..but based on what? Being satisfied with the body-type God made us in will give him glory and allow us to relax, too. That way we don't feel like if we over-indulge on chocolate or have a big appetite as we're supposed to when growing up, that it's a bad thing. Take each day as it comes. Listen to your body. In the end, you need to have the strength to go through your life functioning to your best ability, and this means giving your body whatever kind of nourishment it needs.
Take care and take heart that you are not alone. My prayer is that you will feel empowered to change the tune of body image...that we may understand the love God has for us and the beauty He finds in us exactly as He made us...no matter what size that is!

In Him,
Julie
Normal
by: Heather

Hey there, I know exactly how you feel! I lived my whole life thinking that I was ugly and not fat, but not skinny either. I thought I was border line fat. The truth is that we see the worst in us. God sees the best in us, and everyone else is somewhere in between! If someone doesn't like you they will think that you are ugly, if they like you they will think that you are beautiful. It doesn't matter what you look like, there will be people that see you both ways.

I'm reminded of something that happened at the pool one summer a few years ago, three of my friends were hanging out on the deck, two of them were toothpick skinny and one was a little bigger then me, but not fat by any means. The two skinny ones were complaining that they were getting fat, and trying to figure out who was fatter, our other friend looked like she was about to cry. If these two sickly skinny girls thought that they were fat, what did they think of her? I urge you to pay attention to your friends, if they are bigger then you, you need to stop saying that your fat in front of them, think of their feeling too! If your not skinnier then them, ask them for support and point out to them that they are smaller then you.

I also wanted to tell you that God created us all perfect, and he doesn't make mistakes. If he wants you to be fat, there is nothing you can do about it. However if this is the devil paying a mind trick on you it could cause you to get sick, or even lose your friends. Weigh it out to what is most important to you. And one more thing, skipping meals causes your body to build up fat the next time you eat. Your body is smart, and it knows that you are trying to starve it out. Skipping meals is worse then gorging yourself. Try eating smaller meals, doctors recommend 5 small meals a day, just make sure that you are getting the nutrients that your body needs. Working out is all up to you. Your body wont let you do to much, but it takes time that you could be using for hanging with your friends or doing homework.

I will pray for you!
I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

To be honest I get that way too! People I know force themselves not to eat, diet, and train to point of fainting. I exercise regularly. I do it because I have too and I love to exercise. I do it because I love to do and I feel good about myself. I do not doing to please a man or men. I do it for me and I do it because I love how exercising makes me feel good. So when you starve yourself and feel you are not pretty, I encourage you do something else to take your mind off of it. Remember, your body is a temple for Jesus. In 1 Corinthians 6:19, 20 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. God saved you and me from the our sins and oppressions. He still continues to do it. He were priced and tag before we enter this world. He laid it all down by sending his son Jesus Christ to die on the cross. So please remember you are not alone we all think the same way. But, you do not have to do things that harm your body for Jesus paid a great price just for you. Just pray and he can help you.

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