She's cutting..

by A Daughter of Christ


Ya.. my best friend recently told me she cuts.

She's been doing it for months, and not told me because she was afraid I'd judge her. Of course I am not going to, I love her more than almost anything! But it breaks my heart to see her hurting.
No one knows about her depression, aside from me and God. Not her family, or other friends. Just me.
I'm scared, what should I do if a friend is doing this? I've never been in this position before, this is the first time I've known anyone with this problem. She's not cutting deep, she did once, and she never wants to do that again.

But.. ya. What should I do, aside from pray for her?

Comments for She's cutting..

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advice
by: cassandra

here's what i'd reccommend. i'm a recovering cutter, and so i can say that she may not be very happy if you take my advice, but i've been there with the cutting, i know what its like to cut deep. its not fun and its not safe, and its scary! she may not intend on cutting deep again, but it can happen. its happened to me before, and it really is scary. i'm guessing her family doesn't know. if their trustworthy and safe, and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they ONLY want whats best for their daughter, then you need to go to them. however if you think there's a chance that she'd be in danger if you went to them, then go to a youth pastor, school counselor, trusted teacher or other trusted adult. what you could even do first off is go to any one of these and hypothetically(meaning without telling them who is cutting, but not lying either)tell them something like this. "what would happen if someone reported a teen girl who's cutting herself?" just tell them that you're wondering what the worst case scenario would be and make it clear its not you b/c they'd probably have to take some sort of action if they thought it was you. and then go back to your friend and tell her what you've found out and be willing to talk to her when needed and tell her that someone who can professionally provide the help she needs needs to know, and that you'll be willing to go with her to talk to whoever you need to talk to. if shes not willing to do this, then go straight to a pastor, youth pastor, school counselor, etc(see list above) and tell them that your friend is cutting and you're worried about her and don't know what to do but that she doesn't want help. she may be mad at first, but trust me, in the end, she'll forgive you and thank you, and see your motives behind doing this and that she was only trying to protect you. and anyway, her being mad at you for reporting it is worth it if it means her life is saved. trust me, its impossible to stop on your own.
boundaries
by: Natasha

Cassandra's right... secrets are dangerous & can be deadly! Telling someone is the best way to keep your friend safe. No one is expected to keep a secret when harm is involved. She also might have told you because she wants help & doesn't know how to ask for it, but knows you will.
Often there are unknown problems inside the home that contribute to an issue... for this reason I would Not recommend telling her parents, but someone else(see Cassandra's list).
A word to boundaries... to be able to help your friend & stay healthy, you need to take care of yourself! It's okay to have your own life outside her problems while still being there for her. It's okay to tell her you can't listen to the specific injury details while still letting her talk about what's going on.

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