t e s t i m o n y <3

by m e l i s a
(united states)

Growing up my dad was in the army so I didn’t grow up in any one place in particular – we moved from Chicago to Germany to various houses in TN then to various homes in IL so making friends was sometimes difficult. My 2 sisters & I were raised in a Catholic home by both of my parents who thought they were doing the right thing, in fact they along w/my sisters are still Catholic but I grew bored w/it & in my teens, (around 16ish), stopped going to church. I hung out w/the wrong crowd & made a lot of bad choices in my life some of which were dangerous but even though I wasn’t aware of God at the time He still kept me safe. I was lost, & desperate for love ~ I can remember one of my acquaintances saying that you can’t keep a boyfriend unless you sleep w/them so I became promiscuous & started sleeping around. I became pregnant at 17 & because I was sleeping w/different people at the time I didn’t know who the father was ~ I mentioned it to a couple of the guys but they didn’t care & until this day my daughter doesn’t know who her father is nor does she have a relationship w/him. Since I was young & still hanging w/the wrong crowd I didn’t care & I smoked pot a good majority of the pregnancy so I am very thankful that everything turned out ok but it wasn’t long after she was born that I became pregnant again, this time however I didn’t think I’d be able to handle it so I secretly went & had an abortion. A few yrs later I met a guy & married him & this was a big mistake because he didn’t love me ~ he would always tell me to get rid of my daughter & he would make me do things sexually that I did not want to do, he was emotionally abusive & made me cry a lot on top of this he sold cocaine. He would go to places to make deliveries & want me to go with & I saw things I’m sorry I witnessed such as men violently beating their spouses & men crawling on the floor looking for more crack & a women so drunk she was always passing out & hitting her head on the table,gushing blood, & a prostitute. Plus he would have some of the people come to the house for drugs or to hang out & one of them carried a gun. I found out later through one of my husbands,(now ex-husbands), ex-girlfriends that he was brought in for questioning on the murder of his girlfriend who was found dead in his apartment from being strangled by a telephone cord. I don’t know for certain if he was found guilty but he did serve a lot of prison time on & for the selling of drugs. I began drinking pretty heavily in this relationship & did a lot of things I regret. He did want a baby so I became pregnant w/my 2nd daughter. But he was never an active father, he was gone all the time & didn’t participate in her life & until this day she doesn’t see her father either – I raised both of my daughters alone as a single mother. I eventually got the courage to leave him & filed for divorce – it took a few tries 1st thought because I kept chickening out. And the divorce process was pretty straining on me – my attorney dropped me early in the case & I couldn’t afford another one so for the 3yrs it took I represented myself, we also had a judge who was handicap & never was on the bench so basically I got chewed up & spit out by his attorney. I stayed at my parents during this time who were also getting divorced. It eventually ended & I got a townhouse in a not so great neighborhood in Elgin but then began to question things like where do you go when you die? Do you go where ever the religion your serving believes? Are you reincarnated? Does it depend how good you are in this life? I started becoming interested in mythology, reincarnation, psychics, ghosts, & new age.

During the time of my divorce I started dating a man named Dave* who also was not good for me – we went out for 7yrs but argued all the time, it was not a healthy relationship at all basically just sexual w/a lot of pot smoking & fighting. I ended up leaving my townhome & moving in w/him, (in Elgin), but it got so ugly my kids & I only lasted 4 months before I decided to move & fortunately although I didn’t know God He still blessed me w/a nice house in Rockford next-door to a wonderful Christian lady named Pam*.

Dave* would still come see me in Rockford even though it didn’t work out at all living w/him & we would hang out w/Pam & her husband, Ken* along w/Ann* who lived next-door to me on the other side & we all became friends.
I worked at a company for a period of 8yrs & there were a lot of issues that went on in that place, it tended to have a rock-n-roll lifestyle that went w/it – people would sleep w/each other at work, they would be on drugs & be found to be sleeping all over the building, people would get drunk at work & we even had a lady that would physically threaten us & because she had actually gone to prison for stabbing people most of us were afraid of her. We also went through general managers once a yr & we ended up getting one that did not like me at all, he would call me names & he wouldn’t include me in any of the things the other employees were invited to & he told me all the time to quit. I left work almost every day crying because this was hard for me & my life already was filled w/a lot of pain. One day that I did go home crying Pam saw me & invited me over & I explained everything & she asked if she could pray for me & I said yes! It was very shortly after that that she helped lead me to Christ & I was baptized at her house in her pool. Her & her friend started guided me & further helping me along & I started reading the Bible, going to church & doing Bible studies. Unfortunately Pam’s husband started having an affair on her w/Ann & God called Pam to move out to Colorado Springs – she left in despair & w/out saying goodbye & I didn’t hear from her again for 6yrs, then one day my oldest daughter found her on FaceBook & we were put back in contact w/ea other. She said she was praying to God for Him to put someone from her past back into her life & she invited me to come out for a visit. Of course I agreed & my sisters helped me get the plane ticket for my birthday. The day before I left my credit/debit card was stolen & the banks were closed so I couldn’t resolve the problem & the next day I was on a plane w/no money but God provided for the whole trip like He provides for everything. I wish I had time to share w/how much provision God has placed in my life, from a nice house, to a nice car, to car repairs, meals, money, nice clothes for my girls & even a dog. People would look at all I had knowing I was a single parent & that I didn’t have a good paying job & ask, “how do you do it?” & I was able to shrug & say…,”God.” God takes care of all that we need & every promise He makes in the Bible is true, I came to find that out through my life experiences. He was ALWAYS there for me even during the times when I didn’t realize it. God brought me to Colorado Springs to show me even more of Himself & gave me more revelations of His love & how BIG He is, & He allowed me to see how He worked in Pam’s life & how He moved in her life as well. I have been very blessed to have God in my life & I have learned to go to Him for all that I need, to praise Him through the storms & to trust His ways, when I have a problem I run to Him in prayer & He comes through for me. The problems of life still come at me but now I know I have Jesus to be there for me every step of the way.